Chapter One
Joey woke up slowly. She always savored this moment of every day. She propped herself up on her elbow, and watched him sleep. This was her favorite part of the day. She always woke up first, and she could never resist watching him. It still felt like a dream. The fact that he still loved her, and was here with her still amazed her. She bent down and pressed a kiss to his forehead, and got up to take a shower before work. She’d loved Christopher, it was true, but not the way she’d ever loved him. She could never have loved anyone the way she’d loved him. She’d had boyfriends, sure, but she’d always found herself comparing. She’d always been afraid she’d never feel that way with another person. She’d been right of course, because here he was. He was in her life again, and she’d rather die than to have him leave.
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Pacey felt her kiss him, as he did every morning. He knew she woke up before him, and watched him. It didn’t bother him in the least. It actually made him very happy that she loved him so much. He was completely in love with her, and he wanted her to feel the same way, and it was quite obvious that she did. He smiled a secret smile to himself. He’d told her that she was off the hook, because he’d wanted to get on with his life. He’d pined after her for as long as he could remember, and it had been long past time for him to move on, but then she’d told him that she still loved him. It was in that moment, that he knew he’d never get over her. It was absolutely impossible for him to do so, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to. He could hear the water turn on for her shower. This was a daily ritual. He’d hear the water, he’d get up, make the bed, then go and have breakfast ready for her when she got out. She’d come in the living fully dressed, smiling at him. He never got tired of that. It was then the phone rang.
" Hello?" He knew the voice as soon as he spoke.
" Hey, Pace! How’s it going?" Pacey smiled into the phone.
" I’m doing good, Jack, and yourself? How’s my brother treating you?"
Jack laughed. " He’s alright. That’s actually why I was calling. We haven’t seen each other since Jen...well Since the last time you guys were in town. I was hoping I could get you two to come down for Doug’s birthday. I’m throwing him a surprise birthday party, and it would be great to see you guys again."
Pacey sighed. Jen was a sore subject with everyone. None of them wanted to face the reality that she was really gone. Jen had grown to be all of their best friend. The fact that she was gone was, at times, unbearable to think about.
" I’ll see what I can do. I’ve got nothing but time on my hands, but Jo works, so I’ll run that by her, and give you a call back, alright?"
Jack sighed into the phone.
" I don’t suppose I could get you to pressure her, could I? I just really want us to get together and talk things out. I’ve already got Dawson to agree. The only person who can’t give a definite answer is Andy, who is still a med student."
Pacey laughed. " You guilted Dawson already, huh? Leave it to me Mcphee, I shall get her there. It might have to be on the actual day, which I do remember by the way, but I’ll get her there."
They said there goodbyes, and hung up. Joey walked into the room, and grinned at him.
" Did I hear you say Mcphee? Which one of them was it?"
Pacey chuckled, walked over to her, put his arms around her waist, and kissed her.
" It was actually Jack, and he wants us to go to Capeside for Doug’s birthday, among other things."
Joey sighed. " I don’t think I can get off from work, but you’re more than welcome to go, sweetie."
Pacey was already shaking his head.
" Nope, my orders are to get your butt to Capeside, which is what I’m gonna do. It’s not just for Doug. Jack is planning a group therapy session for us all. He even got Dawson to agree to come."
Joey turned her head away. She didn’t like to think about it. Jen had grown to be one of her best friends, and she didn’t like to think about her being gone.
" Like I said, I don’t know if I can get off from work." She then turned away from him completely, but Pacey stopped her.
" Jo, you don’t have to do that with me. I know you miss her. I miss her too, and so does everyone else. This will be good for everyone, and you miss Potter, are going even if I have to drag you there."
Joey grinned at him. " Okay, you’re right. When do we leave?"
Chapter Two
Dawson was working silently in his office when he got a call from Joey. He picked the phone up immediately recognizing her phone number. She only called him once every two weeks, and it was a little ahead of schedule, so she must have already had her talk with Jack. Normally he would have said no to Jack, but he was right. It had been six months since Jen’s death, and none of them had talked about it. Every time they talked on the phone they just didn’t mention it. They liked to pretend that she was still in New York. It wasn’t healthy, and he was ready to do some talking with his friends. He picked up the phone on the third ring.
" Leary here, what can I do for you, miss potter?" He heard her sigh, so he knew instantly this wasn’t a social call.
" Hey Dawson, I’m sorry to call you at work. I just really needed someone to talk to." Dawson stopped what he was doing, and smiled into the phone. He still loved it when she called to ask for his advice. He knew she loved Pacey, she always would. She still considered him her best friend though, and he loved that.
" Anytime, Jo, what’s up?" He heard her hesitate, but she always did that.
" I just got shanghaied into coming to Capeside next week. I realized I probably need to go, but I don’t know if I’m ready. Pacey really wants to go, and Jack really wants us to, but I don’t know if I can go." Dawson knew exactly what she meant. If they all went to Capeside and had this little pow-wow, it would mean she was really gone. None of them were ready to face that fact. Grams wasn’t doing to good, they all made it a priority to stay in contact with her, and she wasn’t dealing very well. Jack had kept Amy, because he was the best one for the job. He really didn’t know how to answer Joey’s statement.
" I think we need to, Jo. None of us have talked about her since the wedding. I think this little get together is just what the doctor ordered. We’re all in denial, and that’s not healthy. Jack has been after me for two months now. I finally said yes, and he said he’d get Pacey to work on you. I don’t want to do this anymore than you do, but we owe it to her to remember." He heard her dissolve and give in.
" I know you’re right, it just hurts so much. I used to hate her, and she became one of my best friends. I thought we’d always be friends." Dawson felt the tears coming, and he tried in vain to stop them.
" Jo, she’s still you’re friend, and just because she can’t be with us, doesn’t mean she isn’t here. She’s watching to make sure we don’t make stupid mistakes, and are doing what we should be doing. I’m sure this will make us all stronger in the long run." That was the last little push she needed, he could tell.
" Thanks, Dawson, I knew I could count on you to talk me through it. Again, I’m sorry for calling you at work." He wiped the few tears that had escaped.
" That’s quite alright, Joey, you can call me anytime you want to. When are you going to leave to go?"
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Jack was trying to figure out the last minute detail when Doug came up behind him. Amy was taking her afternoon nap, so they wouldn’t be disturbed. He hadn’t told Doug that he was using him as an excuse to get them all together, but it looked as if he’d heard his conversation with Pacey.
" So, I take it you heard my little speech?" Doug didn’t say anything at first. He just pulled up a chair, and sat down next to him.
" You didn’t have to use me as an excuse, you know. They would have come in anyway. They miss her just as much as you do. I don’t understand why you had to use my birthday as an excuse." Jack bent his head.
" I’m not using you, Doug, I fully intend to throw you a party. It’s what’s going to happen the day after, that I needed them here for. You’re wrong about one thing, though. They don’t want to come to terms with this. They want to live in their perfect lives, and pretend it never happened. I saw an interview with Dawson on Tv, and he looked terrible. Joey was just as bad, and I don’t know how Pacey is doing, but I’m sure it’s no exception. Jen wouldn’t have wanted us to go on as if it never happened. I mean she probably wouldn’t want a fuss, but she wouldn’t have wanted us to become zombies, which is exactly what’s happened. We’re all deluding ourselves, and I can’t take it anymore." Doug put his arm around Jack, trying to comfort him.
" I think everything is going to work out for the best. I’m not mad at you telling them it’s all about me, I just wish you guys didn’t have to lie about it."
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Pacey could tell it was bothering her. She really didn’t want to do this. He’d tried to talk to her, but she’d just said she was fine. He knew she’d made a phone call to Dawson, which was fine, but he wished she’d talk to him. When she’d walked back into the room, she seemed to be more relaxed.
" Everything okay, Potter?" She smiled at him, and walked over to where he was sitting. She climbed onto his lap, and rested her head on his shoulder.
" I guess we have to do this. I mean it’s the right thing to do, isn’t it? I talked to Dawson, and he told me we were doing her an injustice, by acting like it never happened. I never really thought about it like that, but he’s right. I can’t believe I’ve been pretending she’s still here. She would be so mad at us, if she could see us." Pacey nodded at her.
" She really would have, which is why I think it’s a good idea that we go. We’re going to have a party for my brother, then apparently we’re going to have a farewell meeting with Jack. All I can say is when I see Amy, I’m going to completely lose it, Jo." She snuggles closer to him, and they held each other for a long time. Both silently crying, comforting one another.
Chapter Three
Pacey and Joey were at the airport about to board the plane. Neither one of them had talked since they woke up. It was really weird. Joey had already taken care of her job. She’d told them it was a family emergency, and that it would give her time to work on her book. Pacey had called the restaurant, and told them to ready, because he was coming to inspect. He’d only gone to visit his business once since he’d moved to New York with Joey. He’d been planning to open another one there with the proceeds from place in Capeside. He had the go ahead from Doug who’d co-signed with him. They’d just gotten up, taken care of business, and driven to the airport in absolute silence. When they walking to the terminal, they heard a voice from the past.
" Well if it isn’t Mr. Whitter, and his future bride. Wherever are two headed?" Joey and Pacey turned to see Andie standing behind them. Joey rushed forward to hug her.
" Hey! How are you doing? What are you doing here?" Andie laughed at Joey’s comical ways.
" I was here for a conference, now I’m on my way to Capeside, and it looks like you are too." Pacey came forward to embrace Andie in a friendly hug.
" Yes we are, your brother is very good at laying a guilt trip on people." Andie laughed and nodded her head.
" Yep, he sure is. He got me too, that’s why I’m going. He wanted to have a birthday party for Doug, and then to have a sort of memorial for Jen. I was hesitant at first, but then I gave in. You’ve obviously been shanghaied as well." They laughed together and boarded the plane.
On the plane Joey and Pacey were sitting in first class, while Andie was sitting in coach. Pace looked over at Joey, her nose was stuck in a book she’d bought at the airport.
" Do you realize that we haven’t talked at all today? We talked to Andie when we saw her, but we haven’t talked to each other all day. Now, why do you think that is?" Joey looked over at him and smiled weakly.
" I don’t know. I’ve just been thinking about how I’m going to react when I see Jack. I mean he’s got Amy, and I don’t wanna freak out in front of her. Granted, she’s just a baby, but I don’t wanna do it." Pacey smiled and leaned over to kiss her. She sighed and leaned into him.
" It’s gonna be okay, Potter. We’re all friends, so it doesn’t matter how much you wig, cause we’re all gonna do it. I’m gonna be right by your side, so you don’t have to worry about anything, okay?" She smiled and put her head on his shoulder.
" Have I told you that I love you today?" When he shook his head no, she giggled and kissed him again. " Well, I’m so sorry for my mishap, Mr. Whitter, I love you very much." With her head on Pacey’s shoulder, they continued their flight in silence.
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Dawson was at Capeside airport waiting on the rest of the group to get there. Jack was going to pick all of them up at the same time. He was just waiting on Pacey and Joey to get there. Once they got there he was supposed to call Jack to pick them up. It was weird being back in Capeside this soon after his mother’s wedding. He’d promised himself he’d stay away for awhile, but here he was again. He’d been sitting in the waiting area for almost two hours when they made the landing call for their flight. He picked up his luggage, and headed towards their gate. When he got there people were already starting to come off of the plane. Joey was the first one he saw. She saw him, and came running towards him. They embraced in a long hug. When they finally let go of one another, Dawson looked around as if he was confused about something.
" Hey, Where’s Pacey? I thought he was the one that had to drag you here."
Joey glared at Dawson when he said this, but shrugged her shoulder.
" He couldn’t take the heat, you know how Pacey gets when he’s nervous. No, I’m just teasing, He left something on the plane. He should be out here anytime."
They stood waiting for a little while longer, Andie came up while they stood looking towards the gate. Dawson and Andie were into a deep conversation when Pacey finally emerged. The thing that made Joey mad, was he didn’t look upset at all. He was chatting animatedly with one of the flight attendants. Dawson and Andie looked up and saw this as well. Joey noticed that both of them threw glances her direction, but she ignored them. She would not pick a fight with Pacey in the middle of an airport, let alone in front of their exes. She picked up her carry-on bag, and started walking to the luggage terminal with Dawson and Andie.
Pacey knew exactly why Joey was angry with him, but he’d have to settle that with her later. Here were two of their best buds, not to mention exes, and he didn’t want to get into it with them around. Joey didn’t look like she wanted to talk to him right then anyway. He said bye to the interesting flight attendant, and started after them. Once they got to the luggage place, Joey walked on the other side to avoid talking to Pacey. Pacey just shook his head, and knew that he’d have some work to do. Dawson walked over to Pacey, and put his hand on his shoulder.
" You do know your in trouble right? I mean, we were waiting forever, and she actually thought you were just upset. Personally, I think it’s kinda funny, but I’m sure she’s pissed." Pacey couldn’t help but grin at Dawson.
" I know she’s pissed. Did you happen to notice the way she’s not talking to me at all? She’s also refusing to look at me. All I was doing was talking, and I didn’t know that was such a crime. Hey, but don’t you worry, cause I’m going to fix this. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to do damage control. She really thinks that I have the ability to cheat on her sometimes." Dawson just shook his head, and reached for his luggage.
" Yes sir, you’re in deep shit. What do you guys say, we go see if Jack is outside waiting?"
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Jack was actually nervous. He hadn’t seen any of them since the funeral, and he knew they were kinda irritated by his pushing to get them here. He just hoped that everyone would see things his way, and understand why he did it. He saw them walking out together, and noticed two things immediately. The first thing he noticed, was how Joey looked to be very angry. He looked over at Pacey, and saw he was trying to help her with her bags, but she just shrugged him off. He couldn’t help but shake his head. Those two were always fighting about something. The second thing he noticed, was how much luggage they had all brought. He really didn’t think it would fit. Jack climbed out of Doug’s police Jeep, and over to the group.
" Hey guys! This is going to be fun, isn’t it? Lets see what all we can fit in the back. The rest will probably have to go on top of the car, so we’d better hurry, cause it’s gonna rain."
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Joey had left Pacey over at his brother’s house so she could go see if Bessie had any rooms available. She walked over to the front door, and realized something. She hadn’t said a word to her sister about coming down this week. She put her bags down, and rang the doorbell. She could hear Alexander making a fuss, but then her sister opened the door. Bessie had been holding a spatula, but immediately dropped it, and ran to give Joey a big hug.
Pacey and Doug were sitting at the kitchen table drinking Coffee. Dawson had gone home to see his mother, while Jack and Andie were catching up in the living room. Doug just sat watching Pacey, then finally spoke up.
" So, why is it, you’re asking me if you can stay here, when your fiancé is going to stay with her sister?" Pacey just sat his coffee down, and looked right at his brother.
" She’s really mad at me right now, and isn’t speaking to me. I’ll go ahead and tell you why, since I know your going to ask anyway. When we landed I forgot my book on the plane. I went back to get it, while she went and met Dawson. This flight attendant stopped me, and we started talking. It didn’t help matters that Joey knew who the flight attendant was, or that I used to have a crush on her. It was Kristy Livingstone. " Doug shook his head and started laughing.
" That is just your luck, Pace. I’m sure you and Joey will work it out, because you guys were meant to be together." Pacey bent his head.
" I hope your right, because I’ve got to tell her something else. When she came up to me, she kissed me. That’s how she said hello to me. Do you think Joey’s gonna get over that one?"
Doug didn’t say anything, just sat there staring at Pacey as if he’d grown horns.
Chapter Four
Joey was over at Bessie’s house helping her clean up her kitchen. Bessie wasn’t saying anything to her, but Joey knew that she was throwing her glances now and again. She knew Bessie was going to eventually bring it up, but she was hoping it would later rather than now. As it would have it, someone knocked on the front door, before she ask her sister. Bessie left the kitchen to open the front door. As soon as she heard the voice on the other side of the door, she knew who it was. She didn’t look back, she just kept up what she was doing. She wasn’t really mad at Pacey for who he was talking to. It was because she’d needed some support here, and he was chatting it up with his old crush. He didn’t act like any of this bothered him in the least. Granted, Pacey always did hide his feelings, but never to her. When she heard the door shut, and only one set of feet coming into the kitchen, she turned around to see only her sister. Bessie saw the question in her eyes, and answered her before Joey could say anything.
" He said he’d be back in about a hour, so you could cool off. He said he’d planned on staying with Doug and Jack, but Andie is staying there already. Dawson is staying with his mom, so that leaves you two here. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, and frankly I don’t wanna know. I just hope you can put your differences aside for as long as you’re here, because Jack went to a lot of trouble to get you guys here."
With that she turned on her heel and walked away. Joey didn’t know what to say. She knew she shouldn’t be mad, but she just couldn’t help herself. He made her so angry sometimes, but she knew she’d never be able to live without him. The thing that irked her most about the situation, was who it was. She’ll admit openly, and would apologize to him as soon as he got there. Bessie was right, she didn’t need to hold a grudge towards him. She could forget this little thing, because he didn’t do anything. It was her own insecurities that was bothering her. She’d get over it.
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Dawson was over at his mom’s in his old room, when someone knocked on the door. He acknowledged the person to come in, and in walked Pacey. He grinned at Pacey when he walked in. He was never going to learn to cope with Joey’s temper. Dawson used to think it was cute whenever she’d get mad, and because he’d laugh, she’d laugh. It was all in good fun, but Pacey seemed to get frustrated, which made Dawson grin even more.
" What’s the matter, Pace? Did she kick you out, and you need a place to crash?" Pacey laughed. He walked further into Dawson’s room, and plopped down onto his bed.
" No, I’m just giving her time to calm down. She’s still peeved, so I’m going over there in a bit. Tomorrow I’ve got to go to my restaurant, so I’ll be out of her hair. So Dawson, how long are you in town?" Dawson sat down next to Pacey, and sighed.
" I’ve cleared my schedule for a week. I though some time away would be good for me. I’ve been pushing myself too hard this month, and I’m tired. It’s like my life is passing me by in my rush to get stuff done, you know?" Pacey nodded.
" I know what you mean. Joey is never at home, until night, and then she’s so tired, she goes straight to bed. Not that I’m all ‘let’s get busy’, but I would like to talk to her every once and awhile. She’s so torn up about Jen, Dawson. She’s with me, but she’s not ‘with me’. Does that make sense at all to you?" Dawson started laughing.
" Are you crazy? She broke up with me the first time because she wanted to paint. She was always drawing, and if I’d say anything other than about art, she’d get offended and would stalk off. At first, I thought it was cute. Then, it pissed me off. You have to understand, Pacey, she’s a passionate girl, and she’s run by emotions. Enjoy it while it lasts." Pacey laughed with her.
" So you want to go camping this weekend before you leave? I think Joey is only staying for four days, but if you want, I can stay and hang out." Dawson was nodding his agreement.
" That’s cool, just make sure you ask her first. She doesn’t like being kept in the dark." Pacey waved a hand at him.
" Please Leery, I already know that. She’s so damn...great. I guess that’s the only word I have for her. Does amazing cover her?" Dawson smiled.
" Oh it covers, but just barely." Pacey stood up, and waled towards the door.
" I guess, I’d better go over there, before she gets even more pissed at me. See ya Dawson, wish me luck."
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Pacey found Joey in the living room playing with Alexander. She was smiling so big, it made Pacey want to stand and watch her for the rest of his life. It wouldn’t happen though, because she heard him in the doorway, and the smile vanished.
" Hey Pacey, we’re in my old bedroom. You can put your stuff in there, okay? I want to talk to you when you’re finished."
Pacey didn’t say anything, he just nodded and took his luggage into the room that used to Joey’s. He really didn’t want to have this conversation right now, but it was probably best to get it over with. He walked back into the living room, and sat on the opposite side of the room that Joey was. She noticed and grinned at him.
" I’m not mad at you Pacey. I’m sorry I was, and I know I overreacted. I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I trust you. I know you’d never do anything bad, and I’m sorry." Pacey just smiled. He supposed now was the best time to tell her. Probably not, but he wasn’t one to make the wise choices. He just wanted everything out in the open.
" Um, about that Joey. I need to tell you something. When Kristy came up to me, the first thing she did was give me a kiss. I’m glad you said what you just said, because I’ve needed to tell you that since we got off the plane." He felt so much better after telling her, but it soon changed to regret when he saw her face. This was just not his day. She blew up at him.
" Wait, she kissed you?! You didn’t tell me this sooner because?! Oh, just forget it, okay. I changed my mind, you can sleep on the couch."
With that she got up, and walked out of the house, but not before slamming the door.
to be continued...
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